so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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