Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
