i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
a search helicopter?!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize