Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
