Swine flu. Run for my life!
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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