i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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