Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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