Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
