Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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