people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Well I just put wine in my tea
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
