i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
