tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
