Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(573): View more from Missouri

i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru

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(703): View more from Virginia

No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.

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(407): View more from Florida

No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal

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(716): View more from New York

Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.

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(438): View more from Quebec

that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage

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(303): View more from Colorado

Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..

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(909): View more from California

I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.

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