i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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