Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
