if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
