We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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