My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
