my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
