I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
