That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
