so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
