You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
