its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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