I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
