oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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