He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
