This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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