I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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