No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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