So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
