were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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