I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
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