dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
