Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Acid is not a monday night drug
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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