I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize