just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
