True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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