He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
