I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
