I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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