I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
