Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
