Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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