I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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