ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
