it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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