Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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