Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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