The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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