All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
