Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
