erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize