Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
