I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize