Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
