He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
