he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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