I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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