Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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