I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
