I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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