My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
