Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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