i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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