she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize