I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
