we have officially mastered the walk of shame
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
