i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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