Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
