You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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