11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
