i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
