you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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